Chapter 1: Brave or Broken

“When you keep searching for ways to change your situation for the better, you stand a chance of finding them. When you stop searching, assuming they can’t be found, you guarantee they won’t.” ~ Angela Duckworth

I have lived in many worlds that have challenged my mindset and driven me to adopt proven methods to success in one way or another all my life. I learned hard lessons before reaching adulthood and continued to do so in my 40s.

At an early age, it was clear, to survive and thrive meant first becoming familiar with and cultivating a growth mindset, which had more to do with attitude and action, than fast talk and limited movement.

Throughout my journey, it has become more apparent than ever; possessing a mindset focused on growth is the first ingredient in any recipe for success. The most valuable insight I gained from my professional journey is that without the right mindset, methods, and perseverance; progress might come to a standstill or be slower than necessary.

The operative word here is perseverance. According to Merriam Webster’s dictionary, it means “continued effort to do or achieve something despite difficulties, failure, or opposition.”

I say this with the understanding that most of us are aware of the need to be determined if we want to overcome obstacles or take advantage of opportunities to level up. However, those of us who get this also know determination alone is not enough to successfully maneuver the complexity of certain systems in life.

In many cases, females and people of diverse backgrounds, have to work even harder when things get hard to look deeply within, to believe. To believe we have what it takes to break through structures created to disenfranchise the least among us.

There will be times when some of us will encounter challenging situations that will force us to answer the question, “Am I going to entertain thoughts and the belief that I am broken?” Or…

Will I be brave enough to own my past, present and future stories?

In the past, I often entertained the idea of being broken. I now know it is a false statement. Neither the cut-throat cultures of the North Philadelphia Badlands nor the ones of Corporate America were able to break me, though both could have.

To get from point A to point B, I had to continuously open my mind to new possibilities and seek new methods to rise stronger. It is how I survived toxic environments, maintained my sanity, and continuously reinvented myself. Consistently striving to bulk up my knowledge and skillset helped me make strides professionally and kept me competitive in the job market.

After two decades in various management and leadership positions with multiple organizations, I had finally achieved a dream of becoming an Information Technology Vice President (VP). Just over a year and a half into this particular organizational culture, I found myself at a career crossroad. The story of how I became a VP and what was done in an attempt to break my spirit is worthy of becoming a Lifetime movie script or an ABC 20/20 television show episode.

If I expended enough energy on it, an entire book could be filled with the events which occurred during those crucial months of learning. Instead, I decided to focus on healing. I started by taking books off my bookshelf and re-reading highlights I made in the following:

• Rising Strong, by Brené Brown

• Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, by Angela Duckworth

• Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance, by Carol S. Dweck

I revisited the famous words of a dynamic man who was internationally known to rock his microphone. One of his most referred to quotes kept making its way into the forefront of my mind: “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.”

The world’s most renowned motivational speaker, Les Brown, gave me cause to pause and revisit those words I had heard in the past. Words I repeated myself when speaking to women in leadership groups on the topic of career elevation.

I analyzed these thirteen words over and over with the idea of taking risks with the end result being better than I was before I started, even if I did not get what I initially targeted. It made a lot of sense and sounded like the start of a smart plan.

Les’ words, coupled with others I was exposing myself to, made me give serious thought to seeking new ways to live a purpose-driven life. As a result, I reached down into the grave, grabbed one of my dreams and began the process of resurrecting it.

Simultaneously, I updated my resume and made an effort to secure work. I aligned my skills, knowledge and abilities, but more importantly, my values, and what I brought to the table.

In my youth, as well as in three decades of corporate life, I witnessed a common misconception about success coming to those with natural-born talent or relationships based on networking efforts alone. While both are vital ingredients for sustainability, it works best for some of us when talent and networking are mixed with Mindset and Method (MM).

In my experience, it was only when I sought and applied new knowledge through planning and execution that I was able to understand the full value of the MM factor. It served me well nearly thirty years ago and continues to today. It stands for:

Mindset + Method = Success

The keyword here is success. According to Merriam Webster’s dictionary, it means the degree or measure of succeeding: favorable or desired outcome.

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